Why I am the way I am

I am weird. I know that and am quite comfortable with it. I have never fit in with the status quo, and am happy to do things differently than everyone else; if it works for me.

I am learning that this is also true in the way that I deal with Elise's diabetes.

And I feel the need to explain myself a little.

From day 1 of Elise's dx, I have thrown myself into the world of diabetes. I've read books, blogs, websites, message boards. Tried to absorb every word to help me understand this disease. I read all that I can about nutrition and meal planning, learning about complex carbs, protein, fats, good versus bad carbs and glycemic indexes.

I calculate every little carb that goes into Elise's body. I am armed with a calculator, pen and a piece of scratch paper every time I prepare food.

I use a scale. All the time. Everything Elise eats (that has carbs) is weighed. And I take that scale with me everywhere I go. Yes Meri, even to Chick-fil-a.

I use carb factors every day, every meal and every snack. And yes, if that piece of bread has 7.71g of carbs, I add the 7.71 to the 3.10g of soynut butter, to the 4.14g of grapes to get approximately 15g of carbs for Elise's snack.

And I am so okay with the fact that you are now staring at your computer screen in complete disbelief that there is someone out there who could be that anal retentive about things. And you might be saying to yourself, "oh my gosh, this woman must be a nightmare to live with!"

Why is this post starting to sound like a Talking Heads song? (and you may ask yourself, where is my beautiful house?)

Anyway, I do all this because I just might be a little bit insane. But also because it's how I am. I want to do it well, or not do it at all. And for me, when it comes to Elise's health, you bet I am going to do my best to make sure I have good control over her numbers.

I try to do it in a way that is laid-back and not overly intense. I know it sounds so over-the-top and control-freaky, but I really try to make it not seem like a big deal.

I haven't been exposed to that many D-Moms, so I have no idea how other people handle things. I've just aways done it this way and never given it any thought. It wasn't until I had lunch with Laura and Nate the other day that it dawned on me that there are other ways to figure out carbs.

But you know what? I'll keep doing it the way I'm doing it. Because it's working. I realize I have the luxury of only having one kid and not working outside the home. My view on all this might change if we ever expand our little clan.

So for now, I will stick to my weird ways... because I love that old adage, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". And you will keep doing it the way that works for you. And what is neat is that this disease isn't one size fits all and we have to be resourceful and creative about how we treat it.

Even if it puts us up for the Anal Retentive Mom of the Year Award.