Sleep? I think I remember that

I was reading Laura's blog post about wanting to change her middle name to Exhausted. It made me laugh. Then I yawned and fell asleep. Because I know exactly what she's talking about. I'm thinking of changing my name to Weary Exhausted McNeedstosleep.

Last night was the first time in three nights that we didn't check Elise almost every hour. I am not even sure how I'm functioning at this point, except that my body is just so used to operating on my usual 3 hours of slumber.

Whenever I tell people about needing to check Elise at night, the response I almost always get is, "wow! It's just like having a newborn!"

Except that it's not. Because with a newborn you know that eventually they will learn to go 10 - 12 hours without waking up to feed. And that knowledge can help you wake up for another 2 am feeding.

And unlike a newborn, there is a chance that this disease will steal your child's life away in the middle of the night. And however small that chance may be, it still doesn't stop you from slipping into your child's room in the wee hours of the morning; holding your breath as you watch the numbers on the monitor count down and finally give way to the 150 that gives you enough peace to sleep for an hour or two more.

And unlike a newborn, it's almost impossible for you to leave your child with someone just so you can get some rest. Pretty much anyone can look after a newborn, but only one who has experience with diabetes can help take the pressure off, especially when they are so young.

Like other D-Mommas, at night I live somewhere between sleep and awake. To paraphrase Jen's blog title, I am Elise's pancreas. And as far as I know, a pancreas doesn't sleep.

So when people say the "newborn" thing to me, I usually laugh and say, "I wish!" I'm betting they give me some weird looks, but I'm just too tired to notice.