Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Out, out damn spot

There's a spot of blood on the cover of the boppy I used when I nursed Elise. It's small. And it's round. Faded by time. Nonetheless, still there.

I don't know how it came to be there. Probably a remnant from an after-nursing BG test. Sometimes at night, when I would nurse her before bed, she would fall asleep on that boppy.

And we would do one last test, before we carefully carried her to her crib to gently lay her down for the night. Perhaps in one careless moment, we didn't wipe her tiny finger well enough.

I've tried to get it out, but it remains. A reminder of just how little Elise was when she was diagnosed. Only 12 months old.

I pulled out the boppy the other day, one of the many things to clean and get ready for the new baby. And I saw the spot. It took my breath away.

Like Lady Macbeth, I am haunted by the blood. Only the blood I see is real. And it's not going away. Just like my daughter's diabetes, that spot is here to stay.

Out, out damn spot.

Maybe one day.
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12 comments:

  1. LaLaJuly 27, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    Maybe one day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ShannonJuly 27, 2010 at 8:02 PM

    There is a spot on Joshua's baby blanket and it ticks me off every time I see it too!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MeriJuly 27, 2010 at 8:49 PM

    My boys pillowcases have little drops of blood stains on them too.

    I hate that you have a spot on your boppy cover. I hate it. :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. AjsMommy82July 27, 2010 at 9:30 PM

    Fels Naptha Soap will get that stain out!

    ReplyDelete
  5. PennyJuly 28, 2010 at 4:20 AM

    Blood spots on G's sheets. Reminders, constant reminders.

    ReplyDelete
  6. phoneladyJuly 28, 2010 at 5:12 AM

    Oh yes it never goes away well maybe some day .

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownJuly 28, 2010 at 5:21 AM

    LOVE YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. CindyJuly 28, 2010 at 7:28 AM

    We have little blood spots too. Life with a diabetic. Fun, fun. Amazing how those little tiny blood spots can invoke such strong emotions, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hallie AddingtonJuly 28, 2010 at 7:36 AM

    Spots here too. On her fairy sheets. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Heidi =)July 28, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    A new cover for a new season is in order I think. The last place that you should be haunted by D is every time you sit down to nurse your new baby. I know in reality we don't ever get to escape D even for a moment but if you should get a moment it should be when you are bonding with your new person.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DanielleJuly 28, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    ::hugs::

    ReplyDelete
  12. SaraJuly 28, 2010 at 12:27 PM

    that hit my gut like a punch.... a haunting why does life has to be sucky punch. no one should have a reminder like that :-/

    ReplyDelete

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