Halloweenies

Another Halloween has come and gone, and yes, D reared it's stupid, ugly head. But I just pretty much ignored it. I figured one night off couldn't be a bad thing. And just to add to the fun, Eileen has decided to shrug her shoulders and give us the ??? for the last 3 hours. Terrific.

Anyway, here's some pics of our little Halloweenies!

Check out the size of that pumpkin!

Mattias in his Halloween shirt (a present from Megann)



My lil pumpkin



One day he's going to be so mad at me for doing this to him

The princess and the pumpkin

Go Rangers (yeah, I know...)

Ready to trick or treat!

This guy tricked out the walkway to his front door... the sign says "Welcome to the Insane Asylum. Wait, I thought that was MY house

Waiting for the candy

Elise, Mattias and I... you don't want to know how many people ask me if I'm STILL pregnant while wearing this wrap. People, that's a FREAKING 7 week old baby in there. Come on!

All this snuggling wears me out

Happy Halloween... and GOOD NIGHT!

Naked Pancreas!

Reyna over at Beta Buddies started this naked meme... I thought since everyone was showing me theirs, I decided to show you mine! I copied Hallie's idea and added one last question. Here are my answers in all their naked glory!


1. What kind on insulin management mode do you use?
MDI, for right now. We also use a CGM. Her name is Eileen.

2. How often do you inject/change pump sites?
Elise gets 3 shots a day, breakfast (a combo shot of two insulins, sometimes three if she's high when she wakes up), dinner, and bedtime.

3. What type (s) of insulin do you use?
We use NPH at breakfast and bedtime, humalog at breakfast and dinner, and diluted humalog to correct highs.

4. What are your basal settings ?
3 units of NPH in the morning, and 2 and a bit units of NPH at night. Yes... that bit is soooo scientific. But if we do 2 units she goes high, and 2 1/2 units makes her go low. So 2 and a bit it is!

5. What are your correction factors ?
1:100
2:200
Remember, she's on diluted insulin for corrections.

6. What are your meal ratios ?
Breakfast - 1:15
Lunch - no shot, she gets between 20-25g of carbs
Dinner - 1:18

Elise also gets 3 uncovered snacks:
10:30 am - 15g
1:45 pm - 5-15g, depending on BG
8:30 pm - 15-20g, depending on BG and level of activity before bedtime

7. What do you do for activity and/or PE?
I monitor like crazy and carry a pocketful o' carbs (that is totally going to be my band's name when I form one). The CGM has been awesome in these circumstances. Activity makes Elise drop like crazy, so I usually just give her more carbs during her snack times to keep her level.

8. How do you manage Pizza, Macaroni and Cheese, or any other "difficult to manage" foods?
We find if we limit the amount of "difficult" foods, it doesn't make her BG go crazy. One piece of pizza doesn't seem to affect her and neither does a scoop of ice cream.

9. How do you prefer to manage your logs/data?
We write everything in a log that Fred designed for us. Seeing all those numbers right in front of me really helps when I need to make changes.

10. What's your A1c?
Dx (Sept '08) - 6.5
Jan. 2009 - 7.7
May 2009 - 8.9
Aug. 2009 - 7.9
Nov. 2009 - 7.0
Mar. 2010 - 7.1
June 2010 - 6.6
Oct. 2010 - 7

Woo! Naked meme... who wants to streak with me?

School report card

Can I just say that I LOVE Elise's pre-school? Not only have they been so accomodating to us, but have gone out of their way to help us out.

Fisrt off, Elise's teacher (who is type 2), printed up a slip of paper that she writes Elise's pre-snack BG, how many carbs she ate, as well as her pre-playground and post-playground numbers on. She then gives it to us at the end of class so we know exactly what went on with Elise's BG while she was away from us. Her teacher did this completely on her own and with NO promting from us!

Then, as I was dropping off Elise today, the teacher pointed out the Mom who is bringing snacks for the Fall Party on Thursday (more on that in a second). I needed to know a bit more info on what she was bringing.

The mom described what the snacks were, and then APOLOGETICALLY said, "I know, they're pretty carb-heavy... I'm sorry."

Holy crap-on-a-stick, did she really just say that? Turns out she had gestational diabetes and her FIL has diabetes as well (not sure which type). She then said she would be happy to bring something with fewer carbs. Wow.

Here is my delimma about the Fall Party. The school usually gives the kids their snack at 10:00. The party is at 11:00, during which they will get another snack (what the mom is bringing). As you may know, Elise is on NPH, which lets her have a 15g uncovered snack at around 10:30 (on school days we just let her eat a bit early), then she has to eat lunch pretty much at noon (right after school is over), when the NPH is in full effect (the downside is the strict schedule, the upside is one less shot).

Sooo, what do I do? My thought is to let her have a carb-free snack at 10:00 (so she doesn't feel left out at snack time), then go up to the school and try to figure out the carbs in the party snacks. The hard part is, 11:00 is really too close to lunch and it will make the rest of her numbers so screwy. Plus the snacks (Halloween chex mix, pigs in a blanket, and rice krispies) are bound to send her BG through the roof. I think like most of what I do, I'll just have to wing it and give my best WAG.

This new chapter in our lives has us looking at our pump options. We always said we didn't mind the strict schedule of NPH as long as it worked for us. Well, it's starting to not work. Unfortunately, when we inquired about pump classes we were told there isn't any availabiblty until March. Looks like I'm going to have to get a bit pushy.

I guess our next step is to pick which pump is right for us. That should be easy... NOT!

Walk to Cure Diabetes 2010

So... only a month later and I'm finally getting around to posting the pics from our walk.

I can't say much about the event, because I only showed up for the last 30 minutes... when the skies really opened up and the rain poured down. Thankfully, it only drizzled for the majority of the walk. I am so proud and amazed of the great job Fred did making Team Elise as successful as it was. I am also moved beyond words by the 85+ people that showed up despite the inclimate weather, and the over $14,000 that has been raised so far. Want to hear an interesting fact? Team Elise had three sets of twins walking with us this year. Actually, it was 3 1/2 since one girl's twin wasn't able to be there...

And let's not forget the incredible job our friend Tiago did in Portugal. They had over 65 walkers, some of them related to Fred, but most of them have no direct connection to Elise... how cool is that? Plus Fred informs me that three of the walkers were also Type 1 diabetics.

Without further ado, here are some pics of both the North Texas and Lisbon walks:

North Texas:

Wagon ride with Grandma Cheryl

Running with Poppa (yes, that is his Ipad that he's holding)


Elise and Grandma Teresa


More running!

Sassy!


Our friends and walkers:

Most of Team Elise in the POURING rain


Lisbon, Portugal:

Our friend, Tiago, who organized the walk in Portugal

Wishing we had this at our walk!

Their weather was beautiful

And the location was pretty nice too

Team Elise Portugal

At a loss of words, for once

I don't even know what to say.

Though I feel like I should say something.

Maybe it's because since I heard the news that we had lost another member (and a child at that) of the diabetes community to Dead in Bed Syndrome I have tried my absolute hardest not to think about it.

But it's there anyway.

It's there in the way that tears start to fall any time I allow my mind to go there.

It's there in the way I find myself so freaking mad that diabetes is my daughter's reality.

It's there every single time I haul my tired ass out of bed to make sure Elise's is still breathing.

It's there when I pray for a cure.

It's there when I hug her for about the hundredth time today.

It's there when I don't want to let her go. Ever.

I am so totally heart broken for the family that lost their 13 year daughter to this insidious disease. I cannot imagine the pain. In fact, I'm expending a whole lot of energy trying not to.

Instead, I will add my voice to the rallying cry for a cure.

Let it come soon.

We did it!

After reading everyone's advice, and a call to Elise's doctor, we decided to send her for her first day of pre-school. The clincher? When she cried after we told her she wasn't going to school this morning. Yeah, she has us wrapped around her little finger.

She did amazing and never even looked back when we left her. I, on the other hand bawled like a baby.

Diabetes-wise, everything was okay... she has been high since yesterday, and remained high throughout the morning. Even this afternoon we're having trouble bringing her down. But high is better than the alternative.

Right before I woke up, I had a dream that her BG was 742 and her ketones were 9. Can you tell I was a bit stressed about the whole situation?

The best part? She absolutely LOVED it. She told me her favourite part was cleaning up, and she made lots of new friends one of which she danced with. And I got to spend some unhurried snuggle time with Mattias. I think I could get used to this sending-her-to-school thing!

Check out these cute pics of Elise:

Come on Mom... let's go!


My little pre-schooler


Does she look ready?

Now she's not so sure

Two Quick Questions

I know this is my second post today, but I have two questions for all the pros out there:

First, those of you on MDI (or remember when you were) do you find you find the insulin is less/more effective depending on which site you use? The reason I ask is because we just started using Elise's tummy, and it seems when we use this site, the insulin is more potent and we experience lows.

Number two: We just got an email that a student at Elise's pre-school was diagnosed with hand, Foot and Mouth disease. He goes on a different day, but is in the same room. We called Elise's teacher and she assured us that they wipe everything down at night, and make the kids wash their hands before and after snack time as well as after they use they playground (and the bathroom, of course), but I'm wondering if we should send her tomorrow.

If you read my last post, we had pretty much decided we were going to send her despite her crazy numbers, but this latest issue may have changed my mind.

What do you guys think? Am I just being way to over-protective? The last thing we need is an illness around here.

Take this D and shove it

Elise starts pre-school tomorrow, and I'm a bit freaked out. And yes, a lot of it is due to the fact that she has never been apart from me (aside from the time I was in the hospital having Mattias).

But most of it is because we have not figured that freaking full-strength insulin crap out. And I'm a little frustrated, can you tell?

I can give her the same dose at breakfast, same food, same EVERYTHING and she either goes crazy low, or crazy high. There is no in between with this stuff. Plus her blood sugar is roller-coastering all over the place. Today, only 45 minutes after breakfast, she went down to 63 and skyrocketed to almost 400 after lunch. I didn't go crazy on the carbs for the low, because she was 132 right before her lunch.

But on other days, she stays in the 200s right after breakfast up until about 3:00 pm, when she starts to go down.

I don't get it, and I am so afraid to send her off to school if she's having these lows (which she does every other day or so). I don't even know where to start to make changes and I freaking HATE the fact that we can't even turn to the CDEs for help.

I think the worst part is how it's affecting her behavior. If she's sporting any kind of attitude or throwing a tantrum, it's always when she's rising or falling fast on the Dexcom. It's getting downright nasty these days and we're kind of at the end of our rope on how to deal with her.

Part of me wants to go back to using diluted, because we never saw her numbers roller-coaster like this before. But I know we just need to try and figure it out. Right now is just a bad time to be doing it.

To top everything off, Mattias has reflux something terrible. He spits up at least 5 times after every feeding (that's per side, not the whole feeding). He is so miserable all the time, even though he's on medication. I think yesterday I changed his outfit 8 times and it seems that all I do these days is laundry.

I don't think I'd be as stressed about this if it wasn't for the fact she was starting school tomorrow. How do you guys handle making adjustments on days when your kids are away from you? Should I keep her home until we somewhat get a handle on this?

Man oh man... it's a "diabetes-can-suck-it" kind of day.

Elise is IT!

Okay, technically, I wasn't tagged, but I decided to hop on the meme train anyway (a little late, but nevertheless). Thanks to Heidi and Jack from D-Tales for starting the madness!

What is your name?
Elise C (gives full last name)

How old are you?
(holds up three fingers) 3!

When were you diagnosed with diabetes?
I don't know

Do you remember what happened when you were diagnosed or how you felt?
Not good

Do finger pokes or shots [or site insertions/infusion set changes] hurt?
Yes

What is a high number?
31 (Well, she IS only 3... and half Canadian. Maybe she's measuring in mmol)

What is a low number?
3... E-L-I (at this point she starts to spell her name). Technically, she's right, again if she's measuring in mmol

What does low blood sugar feel like?
Feels like you need to eat something

What’s your favorite way to treat a low?
Bunnies (Aunt Annie's fruit snacks), bananas and goldfish crackers!

How do you feel when your blood sugar level is high?
Not good

What’s the best thing about having diabetes?
Lots of food (?)

What’s the worst thing about having diabetes?
My sensor (inserting the Dexcom sensor)

Do you worry much about diabetes?
Yup (she wouldn't elaborate)

If one of your friends were diagnosed with diabetes, what would you say to that friend?
You need to have a shot and foods

What’s your favorite food?
Yogurt and apples

What’s your favorite snack?
Granola

What’s your favorite low-carb food?
Salad

Do you know what a blog is?
I don't know

Do you know that I blog about diabetes?
Yes

Do you care?
I don't know

Why do you think I blog about diabetes?
Because I have Diabetes

What’s your biggest wish?
Chocolate

Who’s your best friend?
C (a friend of hers that moved away)

What do you like about him/her/them?
Sharing and playing

What’s your favorite thing to do?
Playing with trains

Do you have a hero?
What's a hero?

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A tiger

Who’s your favorite person in the whole wide world?
Momma

Are you afraid of anything?
Monsters and gorillas

Fill in the blank. (Your name) is___________. There is no right or wrong answer.
Elise

Well, that was fun! When we were done, Elise asked if I had anymore questions for her. I think she enjoyed being interviewed. I think it would be fun to revisit this meme every year, just to see how her answers change.

A new chapter

When I was a kid, I used to go to my best friend's house all the time. I remember in the entrance way, right by her front door, there was a painting of a deer, with the inscription, "If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was.

Every time I read that, it struck my little 10-year old brain as very sad. I don't know why, it just seemed so empty to me, so without hope. I guess maybe I focused on the last part too much.

Now that I've given you a glimpse into the beginnings of my little glass-half-empty mentality, I'll get to my point.

Remember that pre-school I blogged about a few weeks ago? Fred and I went to visit them last week, and were very impressed with what we saw. The director took us for a tour, and asked a ton of questions about Elise's diabetes, and what their role would be if she because a student there. About a week later we received a call saying they would love to have Elise come to their pre-school!

Today we met with the lady who will be her teacher. We were told that she had type 1, but it turns out she's actually type 2. To me, it's no big deal... she knows how to check a BG, she understands about carbs, and she seems so on top of things. She even took it upon herself to do some research before the meeting.

We went over Elise's needs, showed her the CGM and all of Elise's supplies. We even had a low BG while we were there, so it was good for her to see how we treat it. I was impressed at how proactive she was, especially when she asked if she could check Elise's BG during the meeting (at a time we would normally be checking, of course).

The school was ready for Elise to start this Thursday (tomorrow), but we're still tweaking her insulin since the move to full-strength and I don't feel like we have it right yet. So Tuesday will be Elise's first day of school!

And now that inscription has taken on a whole new meaning. Yes, I am afraid of letting her go, but I love Elise. And she needs me to let go of her so she can start to find her own way in this world. Yes, even at the tender age of 3, she needs to start taking those baby steps towards independence. And because she is mine, I can always feel confident that she will come back.

Especially since she will be so loved and well cared for while she's away.

Husband of the Year

And no, I'm not speaking sarcastically like I do when I go and do something stupid and award myself the "Mom of the Year" award.

About a week ago, when I had that awful day and emotionally vomited all over Fred about it, he strongly suggested that I needed to set some time aside for myself every week or so and be able to get away with a friend or two and just have fun. In the throes of my pity party I cried, "but I have nobody to hang out with!"

Which isn't exactly true, but it is mostly true... like I've read on most of your blogs, we too have lost a lot of our friends and support after Elise's dx.

Then he suggested Laura and Jessica, who I do consider my friends, in fact... they are they best, most fun, lovely, wonderful ladies to hang out with. I just know with everything going on in their lives, it's hard for them to get away.

Then Fred made the suggestion that almost had me rolling on the floor laughing... what if he looked after all the kids one evening so we could all get away? Let me run this down for you:

That would be a total of 7 kids. Under the age of 7. And 3 of those kids have diabetes. And 2 are on pumps (which Fred has no idea how to work). 3 of them are in diapers and 1 baby who is only a month old and depends solely on Momma for nourishment.

So I laughed and I laughed, and he told me he was serious. So he emailed Laura and Jessica. And they laughed. And the three of us laughed together. Then he suggested Monday and pretty much set the whole thing up. Jessica's idea was that we should get some frozen yogurt and come back to the house to watch the show through a window.

Long story short, last night the three of us did get together. We did go out for frozen yogurt. And we stayed away for almost two wonderful hours while Fred stayed back at Laura's house and wrangled 5 kids (Jessica's husband was at home with her 2). When we came back, the kitchen was clean, the kids were in their pjs, and everyone was still alive with all limbs attached, and Mattias was asleep.

Before we left, Fred suggested to Laura we do this on a weekly basis. And Laura and I laughed. And Fred told us he was serious.

Hmmmmm....


P.S. Isn't my husband incredible???

Here we go again

As most of you know, Elise is on diluted insulin for her fast-acting. Her dosage is enough that we can switch to full-strength, but each of the two times we've done it, it has been a disaster.

We currently dilute her insulin to U-20 (which means there is 5 units of diluent to 1 unit of insulin, or 10 units of the diluted stuff = 2 units of full-strength). Right now, Elise takes 11 units of DH at each meal, which in theory means she should get a dose of 2 (well, 2.2) units of full-strength.

Both times we've tried to switch , we have the exact same problem... her numbers seem fine at first, actually on the low side of normal. Then, they go up, and up, and up until they're in the high 400s. The more insulin we give, the higher she goes. Which is totally backwards, right?

Our theory is that the full-strength stuff is just still too strong for her (the first time we did this, we started out with a dose that was below what she should be getting). We think that her liver might be kicking out extra glucose because of the strength of the insulin. This, of course, is our non-medical opinion... call it an instinct. The NP we saw at our endo appointment yesterday thinks it's more likely that she's going low, then rebounding. My gut says no, just because I think we would have caught a low, since we test her so much.

But our NP encouraged us to try again, especially since she wears a CGM and we'll be able to see what happens. So today is the first day... right now she's out with Fred at a local farm festival where they have a petting zoo, pony rides, hay rides, and lots of open space to run around. I'm VERY curious to see what happens!

And if we get weird results again, we have to go ahead to give her a less-diluted dose of insulin (this was the wonderful Meri's idea!), like U-60 instead of U-20. The idea is to ween her off the diluted stuff. The NP wasn't too excited about the idea, but he checked with Dr. T (Elise's endo), who gave us the green light. So at least we have a back-up plan!

So here's hoping that it works! To end this post, I have a picture of the lovely Eileen; who is displaying 6 hours of absolutely bea-u-tiful numbers. The best part? These numbers are after Elise had ice cream for dessert at lunch and pizza for dinner. That's not usual around here, but yesterday was just a pizza and ice cream kind of day!

An update, a thank you and an A1C

First off, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my Wednesday post. You guys totally make me cry, but in a good way. You have no idea how your lovely words helped me and for that I thank you!

Thursday was looking up as a much better day. Fred had planned to take the day off a few weeks ago, so it was nice to have that extra help. And then 3:00 pm hit and it all went downhill.

The long and short of it is I developed mastitis. In the span of 1 hour I went from feeling absolutely fine to having a fever, chills, muscle aches and the worst headache I have ever experienced. Plus if anyone even looked at my boob, the pain made me want to pass out.

Thankfully the doc on call prescribed me antibiotics without having to see me, but I still feel lousy today. The funny thing is I just told someone the other day that I had never had Mastitis... I should have known better than to open my mouth. Thanks for that, universe.

And today was Elise's quarterly endo appointment. After getting an A1C of 6.6 last time, I knew we could really only go up from there. Especially since Elise's numbers have been all sorts of crazy lately. And by crazy, I mean high. And I haven't had the brain power to sit down and do any serious adjusting. So I was ready to cringe when I heard the number.

But her A1C came back at 7... so we're pretty pleased. And all her blood work came back negative (thyroid, celiac etc.). So yay for that.

Whew... what a crazy last couple of days. Weekend, I'm ready for you now!

Let's learn about Joanne

I wanted to do a super-cool post for today in honour of No D-Day, but let's face it... yesterday sucked it so hard I was in no mood to come up with anything. So here's a re-post of an old post from my other blog. Enjoy learning useless crap about me!

1. I love being a redhead. I often get asked if I ever hated having red hair, and I can't remember feeling that way. Do not ever refer to my hair as orange.

2. I love to make lists.

3. Especially when I get to cross stuff off.

4. I have a thing for waterfalls. I love them. I could sit and stare at a waterfall for hours.

5. I have HORRIBLE eyesight.

6. I prefer to wear contacts, but my eyes are so dry that they hurt my eyes. So glasses it is!

7. I have recurring nightmares about some sort of disaster happening and I can't find my glasses. Usually I'm being chased by someone, or there's a tornado coming.

8. Sometimes I think too much.

9. I also over think things.

10. I love being married to Fred.

11. I love being Elise's and Mattias's Mom.

12. Cats scare me.

13. I hate Dallas. But I think that's pretty obvious.

14. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

15. Since it's a little late for that, I think I'd like to go back to school so I could work somewhere in the medical field.

16. Math makes my head hurt, but I have a good memory for numbers. Weird, eh?

17. I've been hit by a car on my bike twice. Two separate cars, on different occasions. Not the same car twice.

18. I've had 8 surgeries.

19. When I was about 4 or 5, I ran through the sliding glass door at my Mom's friend's house. I couldn't tell that it was closed, plus I've always been a bit of a klutz.

20. I have never done drugs, although the way my brain functions, I sometimes wonder if I have and just forgot about it.

21. I'm an honourary Newfie. The way this is bestowed upon you is by kissing a cod and drinking some sort of alcohol that tastes like paint thinner called "Screech".

22. My favourite band is the Hothouse Flowers. I've had the pleasure of meeting them several times, and not only are they amazing musicians, they are wonderful souls too.

23. My Dad used to grill steak on Saturday nights during hockey season. To this day, when I hear the Hockey Night in Canada theme, I smell steak.

24. I love the memory of sitting on the sofa and watching hockey with my Dad. He helped fuel my passion for the sport, even though he referred to almost every player as a bum.

25. I wanted to be a hockey play-by-play announcer when I was a kid. Still do, although I think I'd rather do colour... it's a lot less talking.

26. I wish I could sing. I mean, I can sing, but I'm sure most people rather I didn't. So I guess I wish I had talent as a singer.

27. I have a hard time forgiving people.

28. Even though I am forgiven. That makes me sad.

29. I'm starting to think this list is rather self-indulgent. Really, who cares about this stuff?

30. But I'm going to finish it anyway.

31. I love getting mail. Junk, bills... whatever. However, I am sad when I ONLY get junk and bills.

32. I tend to be rather hard on myself.

33. I wake up every morning with a song in my head.

34. My favourite hockey team is the Canucks.

35. I like quotes and I used to collect them. By collect them, I mean I had a book I would write them down in. I wish that I was smart enough to come up with some pithy statement that people will be saying hundreds of years from now.

36. I also collect old coins and bills.

37. I think that last fact makes me a nerd.

38. My younger brother is adopted... at least that's what my older brother and I used to tell him. But didn't every sibling tell the other this?

39. I can't believe it took me this long to put this one in, but I AM CANADIAN!

40. I think I hit my peak when I was 12.

41. Becoming a mother has made me more thankful of everything my mother did for me.

42. At one point in my life, I worked for a bank. This one branch I was at for only 8 months was held up 3 times while I worked there. I was held up one of those times... scary stuff. Although the guy was caught about 30 minutes later ordering a cheeseburger at McDonald's. Hee.

43. I tend to feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

44. I didn't own a cell phone until after Elise was born. I have no idea what my phone number is, and until this year had texted anybody. Most days, I have no idea where the silly thing is.

45. When I was 17, I travelled through DFW (the airport, not the metroplex) on my way to Guatemala. I looked outside the airport and told my best friend that I would never live in a place like this. God has a weird sense of humour.

46. I would NEVER live in Hawaii. Did you hear that one, God?

47. I would so live in Hawaii.

48. I tend to stick my foot in my mouth. A lot.

49. Every time I see a UPS or Fedex truck drive up my street, I hope it will stop at my house.

50. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but only in stuff that matters to me.

My Mama told me there'll be days like this

Okay, I know that Thursday is no D-Day, and that it's Thursday somewhere in this wide world of ours... but it's sure as hell not Thursday here yet, so I'm going to post about my craptacular day.

Really it's Tuesday's fault. Why? Because Tuesday was the first day I was left alone to care for two kids plus diabetes. And Tuesday went so well that I thought I was the most amazing person in the world. Seriously, I couldn't have choreographed a better day... great numbers, the D-monster behaved, Mattias slept like a dream, dinner was all set to go by 10:00 am, Elise was well-behaved and the best helper I could ask for. It was all so beautiful.

Then I went to bed and the sun came up and lo and behold Wednesday was upon us. And everything that could go wrong, did. Mattias wouldn't sleep, in fact all he did was scream. And he peed through a diaper all over my clothes. And screamed the entire time I was in the shower, cleansing myself of the urine. Elise's attitude was as bad as the summer heat in Texas. I think all I ate today before dinner was a piece of toast. And let's not forget how I sliced open my toe tripping over a chair.

Elise's BG was on a roller coaster ride the entire day. After her morning snack, Eileen got in on the act and showed me a 96 with double arrows down. The meter showed 81. After 5g more and 15 minutes later, Elise was 72 on her meter and Eileen said 80 with double arrows down (this is also after a 15g snack). Mattias was in his bassinet, screaming to be fed. But I couldn't leave Elise until I got her BG up. It was awful... my heart was being ripped in two listening to Mattias cry.

All I wanted to do is sit down and cry, but there wasn't even time for that. Tonight we went up to our church for dinner and all it took was one friend asking me how I was doing for the water works to start. And they've been off and on all night. Even poor Jessica had to listen to me blubber.

I know... there will be good days and bad days, but this one just took all the wind out of my sails. Perhaps it was just the let down from my triumphant Tuesday, I don't know... but I just feel like I've been knocked down and I don't even want to get back up.

But I have to. Because D doesn't take a day off, and so neither will I.

When a pseudo pancreas screws up

Elise went low the other night. We missed it and it was my fault. We have a baby monitor in our room, and we put Eileen right next to the monitor in her room. When Elise wakes up in the morning, I turn the receiver in our room down, so it won't wake up Mattias; who sleeps in our room.

When I went to bed that night, I forgot to turn the receiver in our room up. We missed Eileen alerting us to a LOW alarm... the one that beeps when she's below 55. We only know this because when Mattias woke us up for his 2:30 feeding, Fred and I heard Eileen loudly beeping like crazy.

When I realized what I had done, we ran into Elise's room, only to see the LOW 55 screen. When we cleared the alert, we saw that the low had occurred about an hour before and now Eileen was showing us the ???. When we checked Elise's BG, a finger poked showed her at 250. As Eileen finally came back up, we saw the number 310 with an arrow up.

I felt awful; like I had been kicked in the stomach. I couldn't believe I had forgotten something so simple. After I beat myself up for a good amount of time, I turned my attention to what I was thankful for.

That Elise's liver kicked in and possibly saved her life. I know full well what could have happened, and it takes my breath away if I think about it too much. So thank you, Elise's liver... I'm glad that you take your job seriously.

What I'd like to know is; what happened to Lenny and Harold?

Flu shot fun

Yesterday we finally got Elise her flu shot. There's been some sort of nasty bug going around (people have told me it is actually the flu), so I've been nervous to take Elise to big gatherings, or places with lots of kids. Yeah, I know... I can't protect her from everything, but I've been hearing some horror stories of kiddos with D getting sick and ending up in the ER lately. Plus, I have Mattias to think about too.

I thought she'd do well with the shot, but she totally freaked. Then her BG spiked up to the 300s right afterwards (I'm thinking adrenaline... anyone else experience this?), only to come crashing down a few hours later. All I can say is thank goodness for Eileen!

I'm always hesitant to get the flu vaccine every year, but think it's better to err on the side of caution. Just as long as they don't make me get one!

Dream a little dream

Elise and I both have a dream... it's the same one, but for very different reasons. We are both dreaming of pre-school.

She dreams of going to school because she is so curious about what goes on there; like it's a wonderful place where all you do is play princesses while riding unicorns and playing with leprechauns.

I dream of shipping her off because if I have to hear the sentence, "Moooom, let's plaaaaaaaay!" one more time, I just might start laughing like a loon and run off down the street; never to look back. I may or may not be naked in this scenario. It's not the sentence itself; it's the fact that she says it every two minutes or so. And even if you are playing with her, and (God forbid) turn your attention to anything else (like a phone ringing), she will say it again; louder and with more emphasis and syllables on the "play" part.


I had never really given pre-school a second thought. It was just too scary for me to drop her off into the hands of the uninitiated for any amount of time. But since Mattias was born (and the arrival of Eileen), I've had a change of heart.

I've been watching Elise, and I see how she absolutely glows when she's around other kids. And how she loves to learn and experience new things. She has grown up so much in the last 6 months, I figured she was ready.

I found out about a church in my area that has a pre-school. A friend of mine sends her daughter there, and they love it. And, it's right up the street from us. Literally, right up the street; it would take me 15 seconds to drive there, or about 5 -10 minutes to walk with Elise. When I called them up, I learned that one of the teachers was a T1 diabetic. Could it be any more perfect?

Except, because it's a little late to be enrolling her, they have no room. But that's not what has me down. They told me that because of her birth date, if they did have room they'd put her in with the 2 1/2 year olds.

When I went to school, if you were born in a certain year, you were in the same grade as other kids born in that same year. Except here, they have some mysterious cut-off that Elise misses by a few days. And that bugs me.

If you've ever met Elise, then you know that she is extremely mature for her age. She's been talking in full sentences since before she turned two, and her vocabulary is better than some 5 year olds. Why would they put her in with kids that would hold her back?

I tried to explain that to the assistant director of the pre-school, but she said that they were firm on that rule. I wonder if it would have helped if I told her that Elise was born at 41 weeks gestation and her actual due date would have been before this magical cut-off.

Can anyone who is in the education field explain this to me? Why do schools do this? Shouldn't it be on a child-by-child basis? Or am I making to much out of it? I don't know why, but I feel like Elise is being unfairly judged.

Perhaps I should just keep looking. But this school seemed so perfect, that I don't want to let go.

Things I learned about Diabetes this month... September edition

-For the Dexcom, when the transmitter pops out of the sensor, you can pop it back in without the little tab thingy. Though the readings for the next day or so will be a little wonky. At least it was for us.

-Seeing that little grey transmitter lying on the floor will cause you to completely freak out if you don't know the above information. Especially if the sensor was just put on the day before and your husband is out of town for the next three days. That last part will freak you out because you have yet to insert a sensor due to the fact that you are a big, fat chicken.

-When all you know is diabetes, and you have another child, you will automatically act like that child has diabetes too. Meaning, you will wonder where you gave him his last shot. Or think it weird when you look at his leg and don't see a CGM sensor.

-Keeping a syringe (sans needle) handy is a good thing. Especially when your child is low during a nap or at night and said child has not learned to DWA (drink while asleep). We usually feed Elise bananas for a low, but the other day she was having a VERY stubborn low while napping. After the banana did nothing to raise her BG, I tried to give her juice, but she wouldn't drink and I couldn't wake her up enough to drink either. Eileen kept beeping LOW (the "you are below 55 alarm" LOW), but a finger poke showed 65, so I wasn't panicking, but I knew I had to do something because her BG was falling, even after the banana. So I got one of the syringes that came with an antibiotics rx, filled it up with the juice and squirted it into her mouth... worked like a charm!

-People's generosity and dedication will amaze you when you see over 85 people gathered to walk in honour of your daughter on one of the ugliest weather days in recent memory. Especially when you hear that 65 people were also walking at the same time over in Portugal. And the over $14,000 raised? Just icing on the cake.