Hey Doug? SHUT IT!

I was overwhelmed by all the sweet comments on my guest post at Diabetes Mine. Well, except for one commenter that left me decidedly underwhelmed. You can read our exchange below:

Doug said: At least the Cat lady was trying to relate. Her only experience with the disease was through her cat. Give her credit for trying, (even though it offended you) rather than the vast masses who cant relate and don’t try.I know you wont (sic) see the parallels, BUT in the same way that your experience with your daughter is MUCH different than the cat lady’s with her cat. Your experience with your Daughter is at least as different as mine with MY disease. Yet I wouldn’t belittle you for making analogies from your experience with your daughter…

My response: Doug – I have to respectfully disagree with you. As someone who is an animal lover and a mother, there is nothing that compares to the pain of having a child whose health is compromised. You have no idea what it is like to hold down a 12 month old so you can inflict pain on them, and you can’t even explain to them that it’s for their own good. I have lived through the grief of having to put down my 3-year old dog because she broke her back in an accident. As painful as that was, this is much, much worse. We are supposed to outlive our pets. But as parents of T1 kids, we are burdened by the fear that we could outlive our children. And that sucks.

Doug's response: I dont (sic) disagree with the fundamental difference between a child and a pet. I was SIMPLY trying to highlight that the woman in the OP was simply trying to relate in the way that she can. Trying to get all the mothers out there outside their own heads for a second. Yes you have a great responsibility and yes its tough, BUT there are other challenges as well. While you worry about what happens today to your child when you hold them down, I would say that its at least as difficult for your child to realize when they grow up that they cant (sic) take a day off. They go to bed every night wondering if they will wake up … “there is nothing that compares to the pain of having a child whose health is compromised.” Everyone has challenges and everyone’s challenges are important to them. Because your challenge includes the word “mother” doesn’t automatically rise it above all others. Does your concern about your child’s health automatically trump my concern about my own health ? Does it give you the license to publicly belittle another ? The drama associated with the pain of shots and BG tests, is increased when you feed into it. Yes sometimes its painful, but its required, and you are not doing it because you want to – you are doing it because you have to. My $0.02

After having to collect all the various pieces from my head exploding (especially after his last comment), I decided to respond via my own blog.

Reason #1 why Doug needs to shut it:
Methinks Doug has never had the pleasure (or pain) of being a parent. There is nothing, NOTHING like watching your child go through something painful. I do not say this lightly, but I would trade places with Elise in a heartbeat. Yes, I worry about Elise today. And I will worry about her tomorrow. And the next day. And for the rest of my life until I skip off this mortal coil. Just because she grows up doesn't mean my worries are over.

Reason #2 why Doug needs to shut it:
I never said I was any better than anyone. Or that Elise having diabetes trumped anyone else's illness. Maybe my reading comprehension of MY OWN FREAKING COMMENT is a little off, but I never said that being the mother of a diabetic child makes my challenge, more challenging. But it is MY reality. And I will write about it. AND if Doug doesn't like it, tough nuts.

Reason #3 why Doug needs to shut it:
One should never compare your child to their cat. At least, out loud. If you want to do it in your head, where everyone is allowed to be crazy... then fine. Would you ever tell the mother who just lost their child to cancer that you understand what they're going through because you also lost your pet to cancer? My God, no. Not unless you are the worst person in the world. Then don't compare your pet having diabetes to my child having diabetes. And P.S., I'm not comparing having a child with diabetes to losing a child to cancer... just trying to show why one is just as ridiculous as the other.

Reason #4 why Doug needs to shut it:
I'd like to know what he means by saying we as mothers "feed into the drama of shots and BG tests". What the crap does that even mean? I try to do the exact opposite, we act like the shots are no big deal and just a part of the routine, like brushing your teeth or writing angry blog posts about idiots.

Reason #5 why Doug needs to shut it:
I wasn't belittling anybody. I am always very polite when I deal with stupid comments. If you had even read my post, you would see that. But, since I am a rational, thinking human being; the lady's comments bothered me. And so I shared them in my post (which was about dealing with stupid comments).

Reason #6 why Doug needs to shut it:
I made the video for a few chuckles. For fun. For laughs. Get your head out of your butt Doug and learn to see the funny side of life.

Whew... okay, I know some time has passed since my little exchange with Doug, but I was so pissed when I first saw what he had written that my first draft of this post was pretty much all expletives and creative ways to cause much pain and suffering in his life.

Really, this post doesn't accomplish much but make me feel better. And I do. So now I will wash my hands of this whole "Doug" business and get back to being the best pancreas I know how.

Oh, and Doug? You can suck it... thankyouverymuch.