It's a number that leaves you shaken. Seeing that 3 followed by just one number.
Two digit numbers that start with a 6... okay. A 5? I can handle that. Give me a four... well, it's not terrific, but I can deal.
There's something about the three that terrifies me. Maybe because another time I saw a 3 and just one other number, I had to deal with an awful low. By myself. In the middle of a store. It took almost 30 minutes for Elise to come back from that one.
Tonight I saw the 38 at a time when there was no way her number should have been that low. And if not for the dexcom, I would have missed it. The mere thought is horrifying.
Let me explain something... Elise gets her night time shot at 8:00, followed by an uncovered, 15g snack. Her insulin starts to work about 2 hours after her shot. This low happened about 90 minutes after her shot. Only 60 minutes after she finished her snack.
She should not have been that low.
Or low, period.
But this is diabetes we're talking about. It doesn't play by any set rules. The only constant with diabetes is that there is none. It makes me feel defeated.
How am I supposed to hit a target that is always on the move? And when I'm blindfolded? With one arm tied behind my back?
How can anyone?
11 months ago
Joanne-you're doing great, you caught that low, BRAVO! I know how you feel, just last week my MIL said brought the kiddos back from a morning out with her, she also took them to lunch...on their way home she said Isaac was crying for food, but that he "couldn't possibly be low" since he had just eaten, I washed his hands and BAM thirty-frickin-six, I get it. Something about a number starting with a 3 that just kicks you in the behind. Diabetes doesn't follow our rules, but we still can control how we respond and as always you responded with vigilance and love. You are a d-mama rockstar! I hope this week is wonderful for you, that your AC keeps working, that your baby sleeps wonderfully, and that no more 3's are seen in the front of any reading on glucometer, I hope you find a few moments to yourself. Take care :)
ReplyDeleteBean had a 39, about 90mins after being 416! I feel you on seeing that 3...ugh!
ReplyDeleteSo glad dex was on the job and this one wasn't as bad as the 'store' one.
It's so very true that we are playing a game, totally handicapped at every turn because our 'playmate' is constantly changing the rules, not playing by them even if they exist, and throwing cheap shots left and right.
As always, we won't take our toys and go home because as much as we loathe our playmate, we have to play the game for the lives of our kiddos....a prize worth fighting for a thousand times over!!!
You are an amazing Momma Jo, and I am so glad you and Dex caught the low. Whenever I see one of those scary low #'s on the meter, it's like I am frozen for a split second and sit there blinking my eyes feeling like I am seeing things that aren't true. HUGS to you my friend and thank you as well for the tips about traveling with D. I really appreciate it :o)
ReplyDeleteUGH, that is all I got...I know all to well about the "Rule Book" that was written by "D" and then re-written, but not re-handed out to me. xo
ReplyDeleteGreat analogy about hitting a target that is on the move. That's exactly what it's like, including the blindfold and the one arm tied behind the back. etc etc. There are no explanations. If you try to put logic to it you'll go insane. All we can do is just act in the present and move on. sigh.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Joanne... you're so right: that it's always a target on the move. But we do what we can, trying to avoid those low numbers preceding double-digit results. But you do great. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteYep the big d no way plays by the rules . Im glad dexie was around .
ReplyDeleteSorry that she/you had to go through that..My son had his first 30's bg this weekend and it was terrible..You are a wonderful mother/pancreas.
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers :)
The 30s indeed are scary territory. More so when the low is out of nowhere. We've only been there maybe once. The best you can hope for is that your meter is off -- on the low side.
ReplyDeleteGlad Dex was there to help catch it. Unwritten rules indeed.
ReplyDeleteI'm just amazed at what you, and all D parents, go through day in and day out. Not to mention what your kids and all T1's deal with! It certainly makes me stop and think and wonder what I have to complain about in regards to my condition. I'm so glad that you're both ok. Way to go Pancreas!
ReplyDeleteManaging T1D is like trying to throw a dart while blindfolded with both hands tied your back. That is, it's nearly impossible. I am 33 and been doing this for 30 years and guess what? I still f*&k it up all the time. There are just SO many things that impact blood sugars and insulin needs and it is impossible to account for them all. You do the best you can, but that's about all you can do in most cases.
ReplyDeleteYes, 38 is scary. But I have had many of them, as well as a few hypo-related seizures and guess what? I'm still fine. I try to keep the scary moments in perspective. Yes, bad things can happen, but the vast majority of us with T1D have these scary moments and survive.
I know- scary shit! I think what makes it even worse is that feeling of what if... Thisnshud have happened... What if.... Stupid disease. It really should give us a break and play by the rules!
ReplyDeleteStupid stupid diabetes! It just doesn't make sense sometimes or a lot of the times. We have never seen one that low and pray we never do. You caught it and handled it great as usual!
ReplyDeleteI had a 36 at 3am this morning. AWFUL! I completely understand!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I'm right there with you!!
ReplyDeleteIt is just NOT FAIR!!
and thanks goodness for dex!!
You can't catch all lows; but you are catching a very high percentage of them with Dexcom and by testing often. A 38 is very scary. But you did catch it and hopefully you will catch the next one. Although I know it is not guaranteed, if you have not had a series of low blood sugars, the rebound effect should kick in. It has for us. I hope and pray every day for a safer insulin, one that does not cause these hypos. I think something will be out in the next five years or so. I pray. Also hope as Elise grows older you will have less variability. I think there are a few magic years before puberty when that is supposed to be the case. You do such a good job; hope you don't worry so much about the low number. Add a few more free grams to the bed time snack for the next night to be on the safe side. Try not to worry too much.
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