It's a loney world in here

It 's a Saturday night and you know that outside your windows, plans are being made. People are going on dates. Movies are being watched, dinners eaten as families. Live music listened to. Couples holding hands and cuddling in the chilly air.

You are alone. Well, you and your children. But it has been days since you last saw a real live person that you're connected to. You look out the windows and think about the plans. You try not to dwell on the loneliness, but even the wind seems determined to make you sad; howling through the house and making the emptiness resound.

You are tired. You have slept only a handful of hours in the past few nights and your exhaustion only magnifies the solitude. The cause of your fatigue cannot solely be blamed on diabetes, but also having to rock a sick and teething baby well into the night and you're pretty sure you spent more time in your children's rooms than your own.

You're ashamed at your short temper; yelling at your children for the simplest wrong-doing. Remorseful, you pull them into your lap to apologize, just to find yourself doing it again 10 minutes later.

You think of your friends and wonder what they're doing. As you pick up the phone to reach out, the thought of trying to explain all you've been through the past few nights is too overwhelming, so you hang up; feeling even more alone.

You're jealous of the fun your husband is having while away in New York with his family. And while you don't begrudge him his good time, your mind selfishly asks, "when is that last time I got to do anything like that?"

I know I'm not the only one feeling these things. It's just diabetes has a way of beating you up and making you feel so isolated. And as I sit at my laptop and regurgitate my despondency upon the rest of you, I try to take solace knowing that maybe my words will resonate with someone else who feels the same way at this exact moment.