Oh my.
These last few months have been... tumultuous.
I feel like I can hardly catch my breath. Especially when it comes to diabetes.
You see, we have been seeing some crazy numbers lately.
Highs.
Lows.
And everything in between.
Numbers that make you say, "what the frakity FRAK?" Because nothing makes any sense.
There are no patterns. She'll be high all night one night, then low the next two. Then high again. Then one of those feeding-her-all-night-and-not-getting-her-above-70 extravaganzas (and don't you just loooooove those?).
And because there are no discernible patterns, and my life is filled-to-the-brim full of other stuff, I feel helpless to do anything about it. The best way I can explain it is like this:
Have you ever seen that "I Love Lucy" episode where she gets a job in a chocolate factory? She is supposed to wrap the chocolates as they come by on the conveyor belt. Except they start coming faster and faster until she can't keep up anymore. And hilarity ensues. See for yourself:
I feel like Lucy, and those chocolates flying by are Elise's blood sugars. I know I shouldn't let them pass me by without doing anything about them, but they're all coming at me too fast. All I can do is stand there and stare at them.
Or I just end up shoving them down my shirt and in my mouth... metaphorically speaking, of course. I pretend that they are not even there.
On the surface, it all looks okay... her PDM is showing her average BG to be around 130. But if you were to look in my bra, you'd find a whole lot of unwrapped chocolates in there. And I'm betting it would be a bit of a mess; all melted and gooey.
I just wish I knew what to do. I wish I could stop the conveyor belt so I could catch my breath for a bit. And I wish I could find a resolution in just 30 minutes (well, 22 if you count commercials).
But most of all, I wish Elise's BGs really WERE chocolates. Because that would be kinda cool.
10 months ago
Sorry to hear things have been so frustrating. Sometimes diabetes just goes wonky, and it's all we can do to simply react to what's happening.
ReplyDeleteI'd bet it's even crazier with kiddos - their bodies pumping out growth hormones and stuff whenever it feels like it, etc.
Another thought I have is don't be afraid to reach out to your care team - sometimes those bright people can spot things we miss.
Good luck! Hang in there!
I feel this way often too Joanne! Great analogy :) It IS so frustrating having to just watch and not change anything...I assure you it just happens -sigh-
ReplyDeleteOh, the nothing makes sense/no pattern one...been there too many times myself lately. Sometimes all you can really do is stuff them down your shirt/mouth and deal with the mess later. If any of us could find a solution in 22 minutes I know it would be you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh, seems like we've been living on that same glucoaster ride lately! I've been all over the map, though sadly more High than Lows. And you know what's crazy? I had a dream the other night about my "out of control" D-world where I was being buried on the end of a conveyor belt. So, the clip works perfectly! Hope things balance out on your end soon!
ReplyDeleteThat's how I feel about my OWN blood sugars sometimes. When I get like that I literally have to force myself to focus or its me who suffers the consequences of eating too many chocolates :(
ReplyDeletewe all get it. we do.
We've had some crazy crud going on here between illnesses, weather, activity, growth and a new fascination with whole milk...AHHHHHHH! I keep saying just do what you can, so same to you - do what you can. Some day your child won't reflect on having an awesome A1C, but will remember a mother who had the time to talk with her, laugh with her over spilled milk, and cry with her over upsetting moments...you can do this, not perfectly, but humanly - every day is a new day, ever check is a new moment. Write now I am just amazed at you juggling it all, three kiddos - WOW! and a little extra long ((HUG)) as I am sure it is stressful amidst wonderful, too. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can relate. Going through one of these periods of instability now. I'm stumped. Thankfully, this is not the norm. I have a range I up the basals between which I got from John Walsh's insulin pump tools. So, for instance if the average basal is 1 unit an hour, he will give you the average basal, and the basal range after you plug in the info. I don't go higher than the highest range on the tool usually. Works sometimes; sometimes not. Endo will say it's just the food choices. Which are digesting overnight. Don't think that's it. It's the growth hormones, I think.
ReplyDeleteHey Joanne, I found your blog through a friend. We used to work at IBC together! I was in the high school department and used to do some design work there too. I'm sorry about the highs and lows in your daughter's blood glucose. That's scary for a mama!!! Love your comparison though xo
ReplyDeleteHi Joanne! I've been blog MIA for awhile and haven't had a chance to say congrats on the arrival of sweet Lucas! I love your analogy to the Lucy episode. And man, can I relate! Sure do wish BGs were chocolate!!
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