It all happened over a week ago.
Crashes after meals.
Countless packs of smarties.
Lows that took three times the amount of carbs to bring her up.
Temp basals up the wazoo.
Fred and I got into discussion after discussion about what to do. She wasn't sick. Nothing was different. So what the hell was going on?
Finally we decided to ride the basal. That is, to NOT bolus her for any more meals and see what happened.
We didn't correct any highs either.
Things weren't perfect... sometimes she would go into the 200s. But she would always correct herself; no bolus needed.
But we also had days where she would be low-ish (70) going into dinner. She would eat 75g of carbs; including fries and gelato. Receive no bolus. And be 118 when we checked about 3 hours later. Total flat line on the CGM.
It dragged on. I won't lie, thoughts of a regenerating pancreas crept into my thoughts, but I pushed them away knowing the inevitable highs were coming. Regardless, the word "cured" danced on the outskirts of my brain, and I allowed myself to hope.
Of course, it all turned around one week after it started. I knew it was coming, but it was still a dagger to my heart. I should know better. I DO know better. But I am also a mom with the capacity to hope miraculous things for her child. And a little part of me dies when reality comes roaring back, as it always does.
I'll be okay. I got to experience letting Elise eat whatever she wanted and not worry about what it would do to her BG. I still counted carbs, but it wasn't the same.
I'll just chalk it up to her pancreas giving us a little birthday/anniversary gift.
11 months ago
Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI think that's all I have to say about this.
I've had days here and there where I experience this but I can never enjoy it because I know it won't last.
sometimes those moments are more difficult. When you think of what it would all be like, to just be without all the excess worry. After reading the recent article on the 32 kids at the diabetes camp that had the bionic pump I cried thinking about how those kids at that age are like us, they think nonstop about their BG, their food, their activity, their anxiety, all of it. Someday our kids will eat, play, relax, sleep in, do whatever without worry. I just know it.
ReplyDeleteWe have days like this, too - it's so weird. These random days where, no matter what she eats, she has a totally flat line. I love these days - we always go out for donuts and eat pasta and pizza and live it up while it lasts.
ReplyDeleteThe first time it happened I dared to consider that maybe it wasn't Type 1 but perhaps a rare benign tumor on her pancreas that could be removed and wah-lah! Life would go back to the way it was.
Now I just enjoy the ride...and the extra carbs :)
I still look at these periods as positive, though dangerous. It is evidence that the pancreas possibly keeps producing beta cells but that they are immediately killed off by the autoimmune process. If this is true, it may mean beta cells may not have to be transplanted, but if they can interrupt the autoimmune attack or stop it entirely, they will be cured. Faustman believes this, as do others. It is a postive sign that Elise is still producing beta cells. There are two schools of thought on this matter but that is what I believe. What other expanation could there be?
ReplyDelete'what the crap' indeed.
ReplyDelete