Leaving on a jet plane

I don't know how it happened so quickly, but as I type this, Elise and Fred are flying to Boston so Elise can spend two weeks at Camp Clara Barton and participate in the Bionic Pancreas trial. I am still trying to sort out my feelings, and there are so many emotions all at once I scarcely know where to start.

Sadness... Because it's only been a few hours and already I miss her more than I can express. It's like a part of me is gone.

Fear... Will she be okay? Will they take care of her? Will she like camp? Will she make friends? Will she be scared? Will she miss me? Will the trial be too much for her?

Disbelief... Where has the time gone? Wasn't it just yesterday that she was diagnosed and I sobbed my heart out wondering if I could ever let her out of my sight?

But most of all, pride... Because my brave little girl is doing something amazing for her and ALL people with T1 out there. Every parent thinks their child will do great things, but I never imagined this. She is excited about being a "scientist" and a "researcher", and is doing it all without the security blanket of her parents. And she's only 6. The mind... it boggles.

As I hugged her goodbye and tried to physically restrain her from leaving, I did my best to hold back my tears. Because the last thing she needs to see is her mess-of-a-mom blubbering. I didn't have to worry... she didn't even look back as she ran out the door.

I'm trying to be okay with that.

See you, baby girl... don't forget to miss me a little