I am slowly going crazy...

 The Other Half of Diabetes - Tuesday 5/17 

 We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? (If you are a caregiver to a person with diabetes, write about yourself or your loved one or both!)

I often joke that when I gave birth to my kids, most of my brain must of come out too, because I think I've become dumber with each child I've birthed.

Add diabetes to the mix and it's amazing that I rememeber to dress myself before I walk out the door.  Mentally, I am exhausted.

Over the past two years, diabetes has become increasingly frustrating.  Elise doesn't follow trends.  She is STILL on the same dose of insulin she was when she was 6... her TDD is about 10 units (she usually eats 50-100g per meal).  She goes through periods where we don't bolus her for meals.  Or only bolus by half.  We've never been able to bolus her fully for her dinner.  We do it manually over a period of five hours.  

And then there are the times she's high no matter how much insulin we dump into her.

For about a week, Elise was going high after breakfast... into the 300s and only coming down to the low 200s by lunch.  So I lowered her I:C ratio from 1:26, to 1:24 (the difference in her bolus was .20 units).  And the last two days she hasn't gone over 160 before she crashes.  WHHHHYYYY? 

Mentally, it's exhausting.  It's like an enigma, wrapped in a paradox, stuck inside a conundrum.

Or something.

I don't really have any sage advice on how to deal.  My method is to rant and rage (to my husband, a friend, my blog, or an empty room), and remember all that I'm thankful for; especially that my daughter is here in my arms. It could be so much worse.

And then I go to Target.  Because Target is good for all that ails you.